LANGUAGE - A Gender Agenda

LANGUAGE

Are there any family titles that are gender free?

Family Titles

Mum/Dad

  • Parent; neutral, formal.
  • Per; neutral, short for parent.
  • Par; neutral, short for parent.
  • Dommy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy (note: sounds like Dom/me, a BDSM term)
  • Maddy; queer, mixture of mummy/mommy and daddy.
  • Muddy; queer, mixture of mummy and daddy.
  • Moddy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy.
  • Zaza; queer, based on mama and papa/dada.
  • Zither; queer, based on mother and father. (Note, zither is also the name of a musical instrument.)
  • Baba; neutral, based on mama and dada. (Note, baba means dad in some languages and grandmother in others.)
  • Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.
  • Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.
  • Cennend; neutral, Old English (Anglo-Saxon) meaning parent.
  • Cenn; neutral, short for cennend.

Sister/Brother

  • Sibling; neutral, formal.
  • Sib; neutral, short for sibling as sis and bro are short for sister and brother.
  • Sibster; queer, combination of sibling and sister.
  • Sibter; queer, combination of sibling and brother.

Aunt/Uncle

  • Pibling; neutral, your parent’s sibling.
  • Auncle; queer, combination of aunt and uncle.
  • Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say aunt/uncle for parents’ cousins, or much older cousins.
  • Titi; neutral, from the Spanish for Aunt (Tia) and Uncle (Tio). (however, it is often a diminutive of aunt.)
  • Zizi; neutral, from the Italian for Aunt (Zia) and Uncle (Zio). (Note: zizi is also a French children’s ‘cute’ word for penis.)
  • Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.
  • Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.
  • Untie/Unty; queer, combination of uncle and auntie/aunty

Niece/Nephew

  • Nibling; neutral, combination of niece/nephew and sibling.
  • Chibling; neutral, the children of you sibling.
  • Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say niece/nephew for cousins’ children, or much younger cousins.
  • Sibkid; neutral, short for sibling’s kid.
  • Nephiece; queer, mixture of nephew and niece.
  • Niecew; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.
  • Nieph; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.

Daughter/Son

  • Child; neutral, formal.
  • Offspring; neutral, formal.
  • Sprog; neutral, informal.
  • Oldest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.
  • Youngest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.
  • Kid; neutral, informal.

Grandma/Grandpa

  • Grandparent; neutral, formal.
  • Grandwa; queer, based on grandma and grandpa.
  • Grandy; neutral, short for Grandparent, Grandma or Grandpa.
  • Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to nana and papa.
  • Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to nana and papa.

Granddaugter/Grandson

  • Grandchild; neutral, formal.
  • Grandkid; neutral, informal.

Godmother/Godfather

  • Godparent; neutral, formal.

Goddaughter/Godson

  • Godchild; neutral, formal.
  • Godkid; neutral, informal.

Are there any relationship titles that are gender free?

Relationship Titles

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (non-serious relationship)

  • Date; neutral, the person you are dating.
  • Datefriend; neutral, the person you are dating, but fitting the boyfriend/girlfriend pattern.
  • Datemate; neutral, a rhyming version of datefriend, the person you are dating.
  • Lover; neutral, often implies sexual relationship, but simply refers to someone you love/who loves you.
  • Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.
  • Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
  • Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
  • Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.
  • Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
  • Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
  • Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
  • Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
  • [name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.
  • Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
  • Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.
  • Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.
  • Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
  • Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend. (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary)

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (long-term/serious relationship)

  • Partner; neutral.
  • Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.
  • S.O.; neutral, short for significant other.
  • Other Half; neutral, informal, and implies monogamy.
  • Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.
  • Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
  • Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
  • Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.
  • Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
  • Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
  • Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
  • Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
  • [name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.
  • Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
  • Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.
  • Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.
  • Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.
  • Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.
  • Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
  • Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.
  • Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary).
  • Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.
  • Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.
  • Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Fiancée/Fiancé

  • Betrothed; neutral, formal.
  • Partner; neutral.
  • Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.
  • S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.
  • Other Half; neutral, informal, implies monogamy.
  • Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
  • Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
  • Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
  • Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.
  • Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.
  • Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.
  • Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.
  • Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.
  • Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Wife/Husband

  • Spouse; neutral, formal.
  • Partner; neutral.
  • Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.
  • S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.
  • Other Half; neutral, informal.
  • Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
  • Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
  • Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
  • Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.
  • Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.
  • Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.
  • Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.
  • Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.
  • Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

What are some official titles that are gender free?

Official Titles

Ms./Mr.

  • Mx.; queer, from mix or X as opposed to M or F.
  • M.; neutral, short for any and all titles. (note: M. is also short for Monsieur, making it masculine in French speaking countries)
  • Misc.; queer, the word miscellaneous.
  • Msr.; queer, mixture of Ms. and Mr..
  • Mq.; queer, based on the M beginning of Ms./Mr..
  • Ind.; neutral, short for Individual.

If ‘intersex’ refers to biological variation, is it really an identity?

It is important to understand that intersex characteristics are present from birth, regardless of when they may be detected, and represent very specific variations in sexual characteristics. The idea of an intersex “identity” or “pride” commonly misunderstands that endosex (those born with typical sex characteristics) people are able to make a choice to be identified as intersex. Instead intersex “identity” should be understood as a term to describe the diversity of intersex experiences, including those that are heteronormative. Meanwhile intersex “pride” perhaps describes those who are out and visible and fighting for human rights. As a descriptive term that identifies a number of human rights issues, it’s important that intersex is understood specifically, without being co-opted by other movements.

What’s the difference between non-binary and androgynous?

Non-binary is a term that refers to any gender identity that isn’t male or female. Androgynous refers to an outward appearance of indeterminate gender. While some non-binary people may express themselves androgynously, it is a personal choice that is not a requirement of non-binary gender identity.

What are sex Hormones?

Hormones are substances produced in the body that help instruct other parts of the body when and how to act in a particular way. When talking about sex and gender, there are a number of hormones that tell the body how to grow in a “male” or “female” way. More specifically these are referred to as sex hormones, and include Progesterone, Estrogen, and Testosterone.

What is Progesterone?

Progesterone is a female sex hormone that specifically regulates breast development, pregnancy, and menstruation. While not typically prescribed to transgender people, it is often used to trigger a female puberty in intersex children who have undergone medical intervention.

What is Estrogen?

Estrogen is a female sex hormone that builds and maintains female sex characteristics. It’s interaction with progesterone means that it can be taken orally as a contraceptive, and to alleviate certain menstrual disorders. It’s also the key hormone used in hormone therapy, to either replace lost estrogen, or override the presence of testosterone and encourage female development.

What is Testosterone?

Testosterone is a male sex hormone that builds and maintains male sex characteristics. Typically it’s absorbed through the skin through either a gel or patch, but is also commonly injected into the muscle where it is absorbed over a number of weeks. It is often used as a growth hormone to replace lost testosterone, or to override the presence of estrogen and encourage male development.

What are hormone suppressors? How do they work?

Hormones trigger cell activity by connecting to molecules known as hormone receptors. Hormone suppressors are compounds that can bind to hormone receptors without triggering the same cell activity. This can be used to stall the onset of puberty, until an age that a minor can consent to transition. Or can be used in conjunction with hormone therapy to help enhance the effects of estrogen or testosterone.

So what’s the deal with non binary pronouns and titles?

One of the realities that non-binary people face is that a lot of language and grammar structures in English only accommodate male and female identities. When presented with “he or she”, “mr or mrs”, “male or female” as the only options, it means that non-binary people are being forced to lie about themselves.

However the ideas around what gender neutral language looks like are still forming and being explored. Right now the “singular they” is seen as a compromise, a reasonable use of a grammar structure that is already well established with mainstream.

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