Language

Mum/Dad

• Parent; neutral, formal.
• Per; neutral, short for parent.
• Par; neutral, short for parent.
• Dommy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy (note: sounds like Dom/me, a BDSM term)
• Maddy; queer, mixture of mummy/mommy and daddy.
• Muddy; queer, mixture of mummy and daddy.
• Moddy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy.
• Zaza; queer, based on mama and papa/dada.
• Zither; queer, based on mother and father. (Note, zither is also the name of a musical instrument.)
• Baba; neutral, based on mama and dada. (Note, baba means dad in some languages and grandmother in others.)
• Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.
• Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.
• Cennend; neutral, Old English (Anglo-Saxon) meaning parent.
• Cenn; neutral, short for cennend.

Sister/Brother

• Sibling; neutral, formal.
• Sib; neutral, short for sibling as sis and bro are short for sister and brother.
• Sibster; queer, combination of sibling and sister.
• Sibter; queer, combination of sibling and brother.

Aunt/Uncle

• Pibling; neutral, your parent’s sibling.
• Auncle; queer, combination of aunt and uncle.
• Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say aunt/uncle for parents’ cousins, or much older cousins.
• Titi; neutral, from the Spanish for Aunt (Tia) and Uncle (Tio). (however, it is often a diminutive of aunt.)
• Zizi; neutral, from the Italian for Aunt (Zia) and Uncle (Zio). (Note: zizi is also a French children’s ‘cute’ word for penis.)
• Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.
• Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.
• Untie/Unty; queer, combination of uncle and auntie/aunty

Niece/Nephew

• Nibling; neutral, combination of niece/nephew and sibling.
• Chibling; neutral, the children of you sibling.
• Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say niece/nephew for cousins’ children, or much younger cousins.
• Sibkid; neutral, short for sibling’s kid.
• Nephiece; queer, mixture of nephew and niece.
• Niecew; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.
• Nieph; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.

Daughter/Son

• Child; neutral, formal.
• Offspring; neutral, formal.
• Sprog; neutral, informal.
• Oldest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.
• Youngest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.
• Kid; neutral, informal.

Grandma/Grandpa

• Grandparent; neutral, formal.
• Grandwa; queer, based on grandma and grandpa.
• Grandy; neutral, short for Grandparent, Grandma or Grandpa.
• Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to nana and papa.
• Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to nana and papa.

Granddaugter/Grandson

• Grandchild; neutral, formal.
• Grandkid; neutral, informal.

Godmother/Godfather

• Godparent; neutral, formal.

Goddaughter/Godson

• Godchild; neutral, formal.
• Godkid; neutral, informal.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (non-serious relationship)

• Date; neutral, the person you are dating.
• Datefriend; neutral, the person you are dating, but fitting the boyfriend/girlfriend pattern.
• Datemate; neutral, a rhyming version of datefriend, the person you are dating.
• Lover; neutral, often implies sexual relationship, but simply refers to someone you love/who loves you.
• Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.
• Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
• Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
• Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.
• Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
• Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
• Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
• Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
• [name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.
• Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
• Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.
• Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.
• Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
• Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend. (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary)

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (long-term/serious relationship)

• Partner; neutral.
• Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.
• S.O.; neutral, short for significant other.
• Other Half; neutral, informal, and implies monogamy.
• Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.
• Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
• Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
• Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.
• Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.
• Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
• Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
• Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
• [name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.
• Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
• Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.
• Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.
• Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.
• Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.
• Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.
• Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.
• Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary).
• Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.
• Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.
• Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Fiancée/Fiancé

• Betrothed; neutral, formal.
• Partner; neutral.
• Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.
• S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.
• Other Half; neutral, informal, implies monogamy.
• Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
• Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
• Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
• Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.
• Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.
• Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.
• Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.
• Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.
• Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Wife/Husband

• Spouse; neutral, formal.
• Partner; neutral.
• Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.
• S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.
• Other Half; neutral, informal.
• Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.
• Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.
• Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.
• Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.
• Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.
• Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.
• Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.
• Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.
• Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Ms./Mr.

• Mx.; queer, from mix or X as opposed to M or F.
• M.; neutral, short for any and all titles. (note: M. is also short for Monsieur, making it masculine in French speaking countries)
• Misc.; queer, the word miscellaneous.
• Msr.; queer, mixture of Ms. and Mr.
• Mq.; queer, based on the M beginning of Ms./Mr.
• Ind.; neutral, short for Individual.

It is important to understand that intersex characteristics are present from birth, regardless of when they may be detected, and represent very specific variations in sexual characteristics. The idea of an intersex “identity” or “pride” commonly misunderstands that endosex (those born with typical sex characteristics) people are able to make a choice to be identified as intersex. Instead intersex “identity” should be understood as a term to describe the diversity of intersex experiences, including those that are heteronormative. Meanwhile intersex “pride” perhaps describes those who are out and visible and fighting for human rights. As a descriptive term that identifies a number of human rights issues, it’s important that intersex is understood specifically, without being co-opted by other movements.

Non-binary is a term that refers to any gender identity that isn’t male or female. Androgynous refers to an outward appearance of indeterminate gender. While some non-binary people may express themselves androgynously, it is a personal choice that is not a requirement of non-binary gender identity.

One of the realities that non-binary people face is that a lot of language and grammar structures in English only accommodate male and female identities. When presented with “he or she”, “mr or mrs”, “male or female” as the only options, it means that non-binary people are being forced to lie about themselves.

However the ideas around what gender neutral language looks like are still forming and being explored. Right now the “singular they” is seen as a compromise, a reasonable use of a grammar structure that is already well established with mainstream.